Charlotte Grace

I don't know if any of you know this, but I am a planner. My life has always been a perfectly planned series of events. (give or take) I plan everything. So much so that Ander sometimes tells me I need to lay off and let things just happen. But I don't seem to have been born with the ability to do that, so I just plan some more.

During this pregnancy my planning has been thrown completely under the bus, but none so much as this past week.

My body was ready to go into labor at any moment. I was reaching 40 weeks and my doctor told me that we should move my induction date from September 11th to the 5th because I probably couldn't wait that long. 

Yay! A plan! I love plans!

So I planned away, making work arrangements, making phone calls, and getting myself ready to finally meet this little girl! My mom decided to fly out to Austin on September 4th so she could actually be here for the birth on the 5th (Our appointment was at 5am Friday morning) and she was going to stay with us for about eight days to really help us out with our new little bundle. I changed my last day of work to the 3rd in preparation for the induction, and Ander changed his last day to the 4th. Everything was set, and it was glorious. I had peace of mind (other than the thought of having to push this baby out in a day or so) and I was so happy that everything had worked out.

After what seemed like no sleep at all we all awoke at 3:45 AM on Friday September 5th and had a light breakfast, gathered our hospital things and headed out the door to meet our baby girl! Walking into Labor and Delivery I thought to myself, "Well good, this will be the last time I ever have to walk in here, because we are having this baby and hopefully won't be back for a looooong time!"

I'm staring into the face of a male nurse who seems extremely flustered. Nurses are running back and forth all around us. "Woo, this place is busy early in the morning!" I'm thinking to myself. "Did you not get our voicemail we left you?" the male nurse asked us.

"Voicemail?" I blink a few times.

"Yes, we left you a voicemail this morning about an hour ago. We have to delay your induction, we don't have enough rooms. You're induction technically speaking isn't medically necessary so we need to hold onto our empty rooms for mothers that are naturally in labor. We're really sorry, but we have to delay your induction."

Delay? The plan? All my plans?

I blink again.

My mom chimes in, "Will it still be today?"

"Oh yes," he says, "it'll still be today."

My brain seems to have jammed. "Well, let's stay positive," I think to myself. "If I were a mom in natural labor right now I'd want a room instead of some silly girl who doesn't have a medically necessary induction."

We were told to go home, and call back at 9 AM to see how things had progressed.

It was a quiet drive home. We got home, we all went back to sleep, and I tried not to soak my pillow in tears.

"No, things still haven't really changed around here," the charge nurse said on the phone at the appointed 9 AM. "Honestly, it could still happen today, but it's a pretty slim chance. I'll have your doctor's nurse call you to discuss your options."

Waiting. Agonizing waiting. What do we do? Everything was done? How could we focus on doing anything at all? More waiting. Sleeping, maybe? I felt like a zombie. My phone rings: It's my OB nurse!!

"Well, the best we can do is reschedule you for Tuesday September 9th," she says. "Tuesday? That's four days away! My mom just flew in from Utah and can only be here for a week! No one told me there was even a POSSIBILITY of me getting bumped off of my induction day, so I told my mom to fly out. Can I come in tomorrow?"

"We don't schedule inductions for weekends, I'm sorry."

My end result: Wait over the weekend to see if I go into labor naturally. If I don't, then I'm on stand-by on Monday September 8th for an induction, even if it isn't my doctor. If I don't get a call on Monday, we are scheduled on Tuesday September 9th at 6 AM for an induction.

I was heartbroken. And honestly, it wasn't because I wanted to meet my little girl, or that I was still pregnant, or anything like that. To have my hopes set so high and my anticipation to be through the roof... to have had a priesthood blessing the night before to calm my nerves... to have my mom fly out here... and to have all of that come crashing down around my ears was just too much for me. I cried. I sobbed. I couldn't help it. I was so disappointed. How could I have thought that it would work out the way it had been supposed to? It was too perfect.... too planned. (I didn't know there was such a thing!) I was crushed.

I'll spare you the weekend details. We did end up going into the hospital on Sunday because the baby wasn't moving as much as she had been, but that ended up being a false alarm and once again we were sent home. That weekend was awful. Waiting waiting waiting, with nothing to show for it.

On Monday morning I had just made some french toast for all of us and was sitting down to have mine when my phone rang. "Hi Susie, this is Laura, the nurse for Dr. Gutierrez. How do you feel about having a baby today? We can get you in at noon!"

I almost dropped the phone.

Fast forward to 12:30 PM on September 8th. There I was, hooked up to an IV and all tucked into a labor and delivery bed. Ander and my mom and sitting on the couch next to me, and we're waiting for my doctor to come in and break my water. Talk about surreal. 

But when the doc actually did break my water, and I began to have contractions, the baby's heart rate would drop after each one. They hadn't even started me on Pitocin yet! I could tell the doctor and nurses were beginning to be concerned. Shoot, so was I. They did start me on Pitocin, but by the time I got my epidural and wasn't feeling anymore pain, the doctor told the nurse to stop the Pitocin. She explained to me that my labor couldn't progress because the baby's heart rate kept dropping, so we might have to do a C-section. I didn't care. Whatever we needed to do to get our baby girl here safe and sound. But even after they stopped my Pitocin the baby's heart rate still dropped after each contraction. It always came back up, but the doctors told me they couldn't chance having my labor progress like this if the baby's heart rate continued to drop.

To the operating room!

As far as having a C-section goes, let me just say this: I had no idea how major of a surgery this was. I had never really thought about it. But good grief, they cut through your abdomen! I was on so many drugs for the surgery, I felt like I was at the bottom of the ocean. I was coherent, but only just. The worst part was probably the shivering. They said everyone experiences that, whether they have a C-section or a vaginal delivery. It's a combination of the hormones and the pain meds. My upper body shook uncontrollably. My teeth chattered. I couldn't relax, but all I wanted to do was sleep. When Ander finally came into the OR to sit with me I could barely hold his hand.

And then we both heard a baby cry!

I squeezed out two little tears of joy before feeling like I was at the bottom of the ocean again, and I had to chuckle at myself because when they finally brought Charlotte to me while I was still being operated on I could barely even say hello from the drugs. "Hi baby," I slurred while Ander held her close to me. I couldn't take my eyes off her, even though all I wanted to do was sleep.

I realized this post is super lengthy, and I apologize. I'll cut to the chase:

Baby Charlotte Grace Meine was born at 7:46pm on Monday September 8th. She weight 8 lbs and 15 oz, and was 20 1/2 inches.

So off went Ander with my baby to the nursery to get cleaned up, and I had to get sewn up. They told me to rest and get some sleep while I was being stitched up, but I was shaking so badly I couldn't relax. So much for that.

By the time they wheeled me into recovery I was still shaking pretty badly, but it was beginning to subside. (Thank goodness! That shaking was exhausting!)

Everything after that is a little bit of a blur. I was still heavily drugged, and although I remember seeing Charlotte, my mom, and Ander, trying some breastfeeding and failing, and being wheeled to my postpartum room, everything kind of runs together. But who cares? We finally had our baby girl! And she is so beautiful!

Baby Charlotte was born on my Grandpa Richard Rassmussen's birthday. Out of all the people vying for the same birthday as Charlotte, good ol' Grandpa Rass won. I'm sure he was up there in heaven telling her, "Now you just wait a minute missy, don't you go down there yet. It's not the proper day." So she stuck it out up there until September 8th.

Remember all that talk earlier about planning? Well, this whole experience sure gave me a run for my money. Looking back on it now I know Heavenly Father had a plan from the beginning and He knew exactly what needed to happen. If I hadn't have been induced, we never would have known that Charlotte's heart rate was dropping. Imagine if I'd been laboring at home for a few hours! I'm so thankful we were there being monitored by doctors so we were informed. There really is a reason for everything, He has a plan for each of us, and we need to be patient and have faith in Him. I was given a really hard time by some people for choosing to be induced, but in the end, I believe it was the best decision I could have made regarding the birth of my baby girl. She is healthy and happy, and I am truly grateful for that.

She. Is. Perfect.