It doesn't feel like Christmas to me. It didn't feel like Thanksgiving, either. Although our Thanksgiving was totally awesome, it still didn't really feel like a holiday. We had steaks, which were amazing, and even May-May got a can of Alpo dog food. But it's hard to get into the spirit when you are miles and miles away from your family. Pictures of my friends and their families were plastered all over Facebook and that was a hard pill to swallow. Usually we go home for Christmas, so at Thanksgiving im looking forward to the trip ahead in a few weeks. But this year we aren't going home for multiple reasons, so I don't feel like I have a whole lot to look forward to.

Reason #1: We're broke

Charlotte has blessed our lives in so many different ways, except financially. We knew this was going to happen, of course. No one ever told us kids aren't expensive. No, it was my unexpected 12 week maternity leave that did us in. 12 weeks is a long time to not be making any sort of income. I start back to work this Monday and I'm crazy nervous about it, but we desperately need the income. (And I desperately need the adult interaction)

Reason #2: Charlotte

So many things about traveling with Charlotte make me nervous. This Christmas she'll only be three months old, and it's the peak of cold and flu season. I didn't want to enclose my three month old baby in a metal tube full of potentially sick people to get to Utah where it is FREEZING cold. We don't even have warm enough clothing for her to wear in a place like Utah.

Reason #3: It's our year

As sad as I am about not seeing my family in Itsh for Christmas this year, I have to be honest: It's our year. We've flown home for the past three years and it is time for us to spend Christmas with each other. It doesn't even really have to do with it being Charlotte's first Christmas, either. Let's be honest, she won't be aware of what is happening. I hardly even consider this her first Christmas. Next year, when she's one, THAT will be her "first" Christmas. Ander and I need to spend this holiday together, even if he is a little bit of an Ebeneezer Scrooge. We can barely afford to get each other gifts, (not that there is anything we really want or need) but the time together is important. Besides, we just had all of our family here for Charlotte's blessing, and that was lovely. I'm thankful I even got that opportunity with everyone.

We live in a day where the meaning of Christmas has been almost completely lost. It's different, nowadays. If Ander or I think of something we want or need, we can usually just go buy it instead of waiting until Christmas. I think most people feel that way these days. And Christmas has become even MORE excessive! So many children get so much stuff they don't need, while so many children aren't given anything at all. Not to mention you hardly hear about Christ being born at all anymore. Isn't that really the reason for the season? Maybe it's good that this year Ander and I aren't doing a whole lot. Maybe it will give us an opportunity to help others more than we have in the past, or maybe it will lend us an opportunity to think more deeply about our Savior and His humble birth into this world. What He eventually accomplished and did for each of us. Next year will be full of things for Charlotte, I'm sure,

But this year we'll be celebrating Christmas with our little nugget while she still has absolutely no clue what is going on. And thanks to modern day technology, we can video chat with all of our family. We may not be able to actually reach out and touh one another, but we can at least see each other's faces and reactions. I am truly thankful for that.

I feel like this post was slightly sad. I apologize, I didn't mean for it to be sad, only thoughtful.

I'm also terrified to go back to work. Although I know I need to work for the income and the social aspect, being gone for 12 weeks has got to have made me super rusty at applying Kaje's. Not to mention all the new services and products we have to offer since I last worked. I have a lot to catch up on!

But enough. Here are some cute pictures of Charlotte.

These past few weeks have been slightly challenging, but Charlotte wasn't what was challenging about them. She has been the easy part through ALL of the past two and half months.

We were struggling to get our schedules worked out because we couldn't find child care for Charlotte on Mondays, and our rent has gone up $100 for the next year and that puts us in a really crappy financial position.

But I'm happy to say that we did eventually find some child care with someone I trust, and our schedules have been worked out. We still don't quite know what to do about our living situation, but I have faith that that will work out as well. I was more worried about our schedules and who was going to watch Charlotte for just a few hours each Monday. I can now breathe a sigh of relief! For the month of December I will be working Mondays, Wednesdays, and half days on Saturdays, but starting in January I'll work half days Mondays, then Tuesdays and Thursdays. It's perfect. That way Ander can work at the bank and do fishing guide trips on the weekends, and I get to spend plenty of time with my beautiful little baby girl.

Speaking of...

We just can't get enough of her! And she's beginning to hold her head up quite a bit these days. Any day now she'll be able to just lift her head and look around, I'm sure. She has also almost completely grown out of her newborn clothes. 3 month clothing is still just a teensy bit too big, but she's getting there. Good thing too since all her newborn onesies wouldn't stand up to the wintertime... not that we get THAT cold here in Texas. But we all have thin blood here in Austin, and after a crazy hot summer 50 degrees feels absolutely freezing!

Duty calls, it's time to feed the munchkin. :)

We took Charlotte to get her two month checkup today, and they had to give her three shots. I had been dreaded this appointment for a while now, because last time I tried to give Charlotte a bath she went crazy and screamed and screamed and I couldn't stand to listen to her screaming like that. I knew today was going to be bad, and it was! I almost burst into tears myself when they gave her the first shot. The nurse was really quick, but my goodness Charlotte screamed like a banshee. Ander kept laughing and poking fun at me saying, "You always gave me a hard time about being a sucker, yet here you are almost in tears while she cries."

Yeah, well...

It's one thing to give in to your little girl who is crying because she wants something and it's a whole other story listening to your sweet little baby cry because she was poked with a sharp needle three times and she has no idea why. I literally almost started crying. I HATE hearing her get hysterical like that. I took her into my arms and just rocked her until she calmed down, and within five minutes she was perfectly fine. But I wasn't. I felt terrible.

And now, the vaccines are doing their stupid job on her. She woke up from her nap screaming and I'm pretty sure it's because she's sore, and I think she's running a fever. I know she'll be fine but my guess is we're all in for a looooong night. We gave her some infant Tylenol and that is definitely helping, she's asleep right now, but I can't imagine tonight being a good night for any of us. Poor thing.

So to help ease my pain since hers has been eased with baby drugs, here are some cute videos:

No more Princess Leia

Little Charlotte got her earmuffs off!

Modern medicine is absolutely amazing, and so is the staff at Wellspring Plastic Surgery. Dr. Cone has worked with Charlotte's ears for the last six weeks and they look wonderful!!!

And look at her cute little skinny head now!

Even in her little ear molds, she was still a cutie!

Love this picture. Ander snapped it when we were out to a lovely dinner with Ander's dad. We were in a super loud restaurant but little Miss slept through the entire thing!

Apparently "Somewhere Beyond the Sea" cannot be added to the list of Charlotte's lullabies. Ever.

Happy Halloween 2014!!

Thanks to Ander's dad, Kelly for the darling pea pod costume for our little girl! She wore it magnificently!

Forgive me for not posting tons of baby pictures and videos for the past few weeks. Things have been... rough.

Who would have thought that the easiest part of this whole parenting thing was the baby!?! Charlotte has proven to be the best baby ever, and thank goodness because with everything I've gone through in the past two months, I don't know if I could have handled a baby with acid reflux, colic, or any other major issues. Heavenly Father sure did bless us in that regard.

I won't go too deep into my struggles for the past two months. Poor Ander has had to deal with me talking about it all the time, not to mention giving me his tired shoulder to cry on when I had meltdowns. To make a long story short, I've had to recover from two breast infections, during which I was on a very intense pumping schedule which left me with literally no sleep. I was tired, cranky, in pain, and almost constantly attached to my pump, so add a newborn baby to that equation and I was a mess. Good thing I married an amazing man, who got up with the baby all night long so I could pump every three hours.

Anyway.

The good news is that I am officially OFF the pump! So I get to sleep through the night with Ander and Charlotte, getting at least seven hours. It's amazing what a difference a good night's sleep makes. I feel much better and things are definitely looking up!

Those are the reasons I took a little hiatus from blogging about Charlotte... I felt that if I did post anything it would just be a huge angry rant about how miserable I was and how my life sucked and I felt like I couldn't even enjoy my baby girl. So I wanted to wait until things calmed down before I posted so I could post happier things!

On to happier things! (There are quite a few!)

Charlotte's baby blessing was wonderful! The whole family came out for it, and I could not have asked for a better visit from them all! And Charlotte didn't make a peep during her blessing, which was a huge relief. I took an audio recording of the blessing and typed it all up so I can put it in her baby book. (What would we do without technology?!) But my absolute favorite thing about that day was this gem of a photo that Katie snapped:

She clearly didn't have time for peasants on her blessing day.

She looked so darling in her BEAUTIFUL blessing dress that Ander's mom Crystal made for her. The whole thing went off without a hitch!

That's Ander's mom Crystal, my sister Katie, my mom, my brother Joe, my dad, and my step-mom Colleen. What a good looking group!

It was a lovely, lovely day! Also made extra lovely by the attendance of my good friend Michelle and Ander's good friend Jeff. They came to see Charlotte be blessed and we were so appreciative.

Having all of the family here was so good for me, and it was definitely good for Charlotte. I believe she grew quite a bit in those days that they were here. And it was so nice having so much help. I could pump whenever I needed to, because there was always someone there to feed, change, or burp her. How nice to have family around!

And speaking of family, I will now fill this post with tons of wonderful family photos from a great visit!

A HUGE thank you to all of my lovely family who used their time and money to come out and visit us for such a special occasion. It meant so much to us!!!